As I transitioned from a therapist, to a coaching/consulting model, the focus of my work became habit creation.
The most common thing I heard in therapy is the feeling of being “stuck.” Stuck is what we say when we feel 2 things:
1. Lack of self trust (from years of betraying ourselves)
2. We feel paralyzed by mental resistance
Mental resistance is the voice in our minds that tells us not to do something. It’s the critical voice that seeks to keep us in our familiar.
In order to heal, grow, and evolve, we have to leave the space of comfort. All growth (natural law) happens when we leave the familiar and embrace the unknown. Of course, this is the great paradox of the human experience because of brain does NOT seek growth. It seems safety and a practicable future based on subconscious past memory.
To leave that familiar, we have to set up daily situations where we get past our minds. Meaning, we hear the mental chatter but do it anyway. These small situations help to restore self trust.
The more we can make a CHOICE regardless of the mental chatter, the more empowerment we find. It’s a practice.
These are just a few of my favorite ways to get past my mind. What would you add? #selfhealers ...
Through generations of inherited trauma, we’ve lost touch with what authentic love looks and feels like. That’s why I’m so grateful for this community— we are having important conversations around what’s been kept in the dark for far too long.
Codependency and self betrayal are themes in all of our music, movies, and entertainment. A mirror, reflecting back to us where we are as a collective.
Our relationships hold the power to heal, but they can also be reenactments. Repeats of what we all seek: the familiar from childhood.
We are shifting the relationship paradigm— with so many of us waking up from that re-enactment.
What’s the biggest “ah ha” moment you’ve had about yourself in a relationship? #selfhealers ...
You not only survived in environments, you adapted to them. From parents who couldn’t be what you needed, to bullying, to pains that your tiny self couldn’t process. You’re still here.
Never forget those past versions of yourself. You carry them with you, and they’re a consistent reminder of your resilience.
Because you follow this account, you’ve chosen to go beyond the survivor. You’ve made a choice to heal. This is the most courageous thing a person can do in their lifetime.
No other achievement comes close. Contrary to what our deeply confused culture continues to preach.
I was the child hiding under tables. Afraid of anyone even coming into my house. At bedtime came night terrors— my parents dying of someone breaking in. My mother, carrying her own unresolved trauma, was unable to bond with me. And, in the alchemy that is the human experience, this would lead me to my life’s work.
Trust the healing process. You’ll see just how much of your own suffering you create. You’ll learn that the biggest thing in your way is you and your self limiting beliefs. And that’s a good thing because YOU are the only thing you’ll ever be able to change in this life. Read that line again.
Resist the ego asking “how much longer” or “when will I know it’s over?” With time you’ll understand the process itself is teaching you patience. It’s teaching you surrender. It’s teaching you how to connect to the most important voice you needed to disconnect from to survive: your own.
Take a moment of gratitude below and acknowledge just how far you’ve actually come. Incase you haven’t been told recently, you are a warrior. I see you #selfhealers ...