• twice, I have loved women who chose to keep me a secret. who hid my letters. deleted my texts. lied, when someone asked what we’d ever been.
I don’t know what to say about this except that both heartbreaks shattered something deeper. that they buried us in regret. that it was a betrayal of love.
I will tell you that it destroyed me both times and (even now) if someone asked me if I’d ever loved them, I could never say no. I do not regret the people I have loved. they are stories I will tell for the rest of my life. I hope I will do so fondly. but I fought to build myself from the ground up in the wake of them. I learned invaluable lessons in what love is, and what it isn’t. I put myself back together with forgiveness. with the idea that these loves were never right for me. that when I reach for someone new, I want big love. bold love. love that couldn’t keep me a secret if it fucking tried.
I will tell you that I will not settle for anything less.
📸: @alison.malee ...
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